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High tuition prices getting you down? Want to take your mind off your boring, workaday existence? Kids harshing your mellow? Bring 'em down to "Army World," 125 acres of bone-crunching, shrapnel-dodging, grenade-chucking fun. This $300 million Virginia based amusement park exhibits the thrilling reality of combat, demonstrating how war is less like a video game and more like a few times around on the tilt-a-whirl. Command M-1 tanks! Defend your B-17! Subjugate an indigenous population! And don't forget, if you visit the enlistment booth before you leave the whole day is on the house. "Army World" is fun for everyone*.

*"Army World" not open to gays